The Let Them TheoryThe Let Them Theory
What it's about
Mel Robbins's idea is simple: when other people do things that frustrate you, let them. Let them leave you out, judge you or make their own mistakes. Then 'let me': put your energy into what you control. She applies the idea to friendship, family, work, love and comparing yourself to others, with stories and research.
Why it's worth reading
It spent more than ninety weeks on the New York Times lists, one of the biggest self-help books of the decade. Readers say its simple phrase changed how they handle other people.
You'll love it if you liked
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
All About Love: New VisionsGood to know
It's quick and repetitive by design. Its research references are light.
By the numbers
- Readers32 out of 100 · counts 42%
- Critics0 out of 100 · counts 14%
- Bestseller78 out of 100 · counts 34% (its stronger lane)
- Buzz100 out of 100 · counts 10%
Critics and Bestseller are two ways to earn a place: a book's stronger one counts more. Buzz rewards recent bestseller weeks and prizes, so older books start at zero. The parts combine into the Must-Read Score, shown on a scale where the best book we found scores 99 and the last book to make the ranking scores 50.
Where it ranks
- #35 of the 85 self-help and business books we rank
- #145 of the 481 new books we rank
- #827 of the 2,816 books we rank
Why it made the list
Reads as
Practical, Thought-provoking
If you like this, read next
The Anxious Generation
Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity
What Happened to You?
Four Thousand Weeks: Time and How to Use It
The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't KnowExplore the best-of lists
All 36 best-of lists →
Self-help and business booksTop 25 · 85 ranked
New booksTop 25 · 481 rankedBooks of the 2020sTop 25 · 555 ranked
Fantasy booksTop 25 · 459 ranked
Mysteries and thrillersTop 25 · 555 ranked
Literary novelsTop 25 · 309 ranked
Memoirs and biographiesTop 25 · 290 ranked
Science fiction booksTop 25 · 313 rankedQuick answers
Is The Let Them Theory worth reading?
Yes. It spent more than ninety weeks on the New York Times lists, one of the biggest self-help books of the decade. It ranks #827 of the 2,816 books in our ranking, with a Must-Read Score of 74.7 (the best book we found scores 99).
What is The Let Them Theory about?
Mel Robbins's idea is simple: when other people do things that frustrate you, let them. Let them leave you out, judge you or make their own mistakes. Then 'let me': put your energy into what you control. She applies the idea to friendship, family, work, love and comparing yourself to others, with stories and research.
How long does it take to read The Let Them Theory?
About 8 hours (311 pages), or about 2 weeks at 30 minutes a day.
What should I read after The Let Them Theory?
If you liked it, try The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie or All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks.